The blog below was originally published in Soles of Silk's Column section. It was archived and then republished here in 2016.
David Letterman made the "Top 10 List" on a famous nighttime television event on his talk show. But what if he did a Top 10 List on signs of foot fetishism? It is the question that EVERYONE wants answered... Okay, not really, but nevertheless, I came up with how I think that list would go. So here is a little laugh for all of us foot fetishist:
Top 10 Signs You Have a Foot Fetish
10. Your favorite Olympic Games took place in Seoul, Korea.
9. Your envied Al Bundy on "Married With Children" for working in a women's shoe store.
8. You have all the Little Feet albums.
7. You proposed to your fiance with a toe ring.
6. You prefer a game of footsie to any card or board game.
5. Every Christmas you're disappointed because what you want comes in two stockings!
4. As a child you always wondered what happened to the 7 other little piggies when told the story of the 3 little piggies.
3. Since you were mad about not hearing about those 7 piggies, you preferred the nursery rhyme, "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe."
2. You always seem to have a strange craving for Tootsie Rolls.
1. You constantly say they should fire Dr. Phil and give the show over to Dr. Scholl's.