Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Where I've Never Gone Before...

The blog below was originally published in Soles of Silk's Column section. It was archived and then republished here in 2016.

I will be the first person to admit that I am a nerd at times. Since signing up for Netflix a few months ago I've managed to watch almost every episode of every Star Trek show ever aired. Yes, I'm even counting Star Trek: The Animated Series, for those super nerds out there.

Now I've come to the conclusion that someone on the writing staff of these shows has a foot fetish. I've come across numerous scenes where one of the female crew members is getting a foot massage for whatever reason. It's been too often to be a coincidence to me. And then there has been little extra foot centered shots as well. For example, a close up of Beverly Crusher's pedicure before going on a date. I've even told Abby about my theory as she is also a Star Trek nerd.

So, after watching all these episodes and seeing all those foot centered scenes, I asked myself, "If Star Trek was real, which girls' feet would I want to massage the most?" After thinking about it, I thought it would make for a fun Top 10 List.

There are so many beautiful girls that have appeared on all the shows (just ask Captain Kirk and Commander Riker), so I'm limiting my list to main cast/crew members from the TV shows only. Sorry fellas, that means the Orion Slave Girl is eliminated from the list. Anyhow, here it goes:

10. Kira Nerys
Species: Bajoran
Rank: Major
Position: First Officer
Show: Deep Space 9
Actress: Nana Visitor

I know a lot of Trek fans who seem to dislike Kira Nerys. I was never one of those people. I always found her strong and focused. She'd probably be a tough one to crack for a foot massage though. 

9. B'Elanna Torres

Species: Human/Klingon
Rank: Lieutenant
Position: Chief Engineer
Show: Voyager
Actress: Roxann Dawson

While I'm not sure B'Elanna Torres would find a foot massage as relaxing as breaking something (her Klingon temper), it would probably still be neat to attempt one. After all, I'm sure she's the most dominant one on this list. Who knows how that would play out. 

8. Ezri Dax
Species: Trill
Rank: Ensign
Position: Counselor
Show: Deep Space 9
Actress: Nicole de Boer

While she wasn't on the show that long, I found Ezri Dax to be rather cute and fun loving. She, of all the characters on this list, seems to be the most "girl next door," if you will. I've always liked the simple kind of girl. 

7. Deanna Troi
Species: Human/Betazoid
Rank: Lieutenant Commander
Position: Counselor
Show: The Next Generation
Actress: Marina Sirtis

Truth be told, I'm not a big fan of Deanna Troi, especially early on in the series. I found her to be rather whiny and too emotional. As the series went on, she grew on me and hey, she is cute. I'm sure she'd know every dirty thought going through my head as I gave her a foot rub though. She was also one of the characters to get a foot massage in a scene. She got it while being seduced by another Betazoid. 

6. Nyota Uhura
Species: Human
Rank: Lieutenant
Position: Communications Officer
Show: Original Series
Actress: Nichelle Nichols
Captain Kirk gave Nyota Uhura TV's first interracial kiss. He should have given her a foot massage too! The Captain missed out on that opportunity. I wouldn't have. 

5. Jadzia Dax

Species: Trill
Rank: Lieutenant Commander
Position: Science Officer
Show: Deep Space 9
Actress: Terry Farrell

There were always jokes with Jadzia Dax about how far her spots ran down her body. I often wondered if any went down her legs and were on her feet. I am game to find out over a nice long foot rub. 

4. Kes
Species: Ocampa
Rank: Civilian
Position: Medical Aide/Gardener
Show: Voyager
Actress: Jennifer Lien
Of all the scenes featuring a foot massage in all of the Star Trek series, Kes' was the most pronounced. Her race only lives a short span (around 7 years) and when she is able to give birth, she must go through a ritual that includes a foot massage. The ship's holographic doctor was the one who got the privilege to give the foot rub. 

3. Hoshi Sato
Species: Human
Rank: Ensign
Position: Communications Officer
Show: Enterprise
Actress: Linda Park

Hey, with all the different species out there to pick from, I still adore Asian girls too much NOT to have Hoshi Sato in the top 3. She's just so darn cute! I'm just not sure if I'd rather have the alternate reality version of her where she was a bit promiscuous. 

2. Seven Of Nine
Species: Human/Borg
Rank: Civilian
Position: Astrometrics
Show: Voyager
Actress: Jeri Ryan

Seven was all the rave after being introduced to the cast of Voyager. Once those Borg implants were removed (for the most part), she strutted her way around the ship in a shiny silver outfit that showed off her assets nicely. Too bad the shoes weren't strappy though. 

1. T'Pol
Species: Vulcan
Rank: Subcommander
Position: First Officer/Science Officer
Show: Enterprise
Actress: Jolene Blalock

I've always found T'Pol to be the sexiest female to ever appear on any Trek series. She is another one of the cast members to have a foot massage scene that I've come across. Unlike the scenes above, I have not been able to located this one on YouTube. I so envy Commander Tucker, who got the honors of rubbing T'Pol's feet.

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